


hold me down

by whisperedwords



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 1x23 Fix-It, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Worship, F/M, M/M, Mentions of canon character death, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, i tried and therefore no one should criticize me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:18:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedwords/pseuds/whisperedwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re supposed to be here with us.” Eddie’s not sure who says it, but those words are the ones that break him—he’s crying, now, shaking his head and trying desperately to keep his legs from collapsing beneath him. Who would’ve thought that he’d be having an existential crisis in his bathroom at 11pm in front of Barry Allen and Iris West? Not him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold me down

**Author's Note:**

> i had an anon a while back ask me to write some westhawne smut, but then the finale happened and i shut down and am now living in denial. this fic is Totally Canon in my head. please forgive my attempt at smut/intimacy and the abrupt end to this piece; i'm just a Girl who wanted her ot3 to be canon (i don't own the flash, or the characters, etc.)

It’s been a long day for the three of them—especially for Eddie, who had died and then was resuscitated in a matter of _minutes_ within the basement of STAR Labs. (It terrifies him to think that he could’ve died, _died_ , without being with the people he loves most in this world one more time. He thanks every god he can think of for giving Barry the abilities that helped save him.) They’re all together in their apartment, Eddie standing in the shower and letting hot water run over his chilled body while Barry and Iris are standing in the kitchen, talking in low, soft voices.

(“He’s fine, Iris, I stopped all the bleeding and removed the bullet from his chest. He’s gonna be okay.”

“I know, Bar, but I just…” She trails off, then, her voice crumbling in a moment’s notice. “What if he—”

“I wouldn’t let that happen. You _know_ that.”)

Of course Eddie can hear this, because their apartment is _shit_ , and the walls are thinner than paper, and the water pressure in their building is almost nonexistent, so he’s essentially standing in a semi-damp room listening to his boyfriend and girlfriend discuss his death. “ _Typical Tuesday_ ,” he mutters to himself, trying on a smile for the first time in what feels like forever. (It feels wrong.) He steps out of the shower and grabs a towel, shoving the soft fabric in his face and shaking his head, desperate to forget everything that he had done. That had happened.

But the gunshot still sounds in his ears, and he still feels the sharp pain blossoming in his chest, and he feels the gun in his hands even though he’s _not holding anything_ , and it’s all so vivid and real and—

He doesn’t realize that he’s sobbing until Barry slams through the door, eyes wide and panicked. Iris is behind him, half-perched on his arm, her face a mask of horror.

“Eddie?” Barry’s voice is low and soft, and he reaches out to grab Eddie’s hand. Eddie lets him. “Babe, what’s wrong?” They all know what’s wrong. Barry is just being his sweet and gentle self, and trying to pretend like he didn’t just hear the apparent _breakdown_ that Eddie just had in front of the bathroom mirror.

“I….” He can’t find the words, and he lowers his head in defeat. ( _Why this? Why me? Why now?_ ) Iris pushes past Barry and pulls him into her arms, her lips gentle against Eddie’s ear, murmuring soft “ _I love you_ ”s and trying to fight back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. He feels her nails raking gently against his back, just the way he likes it, and suddenly—“I was supposed to die.” His voice sounds hollow to his own ears, so he can’t imagine how it sounds to the loves of his life. “I—I _should’ve_ died.” His breath catches in his throat and it feels like he’s suffocating. Eddie tries to inhale, but he can’t, he _can’t_ , he was supposed to _die_ —Barry wraps his arms around him and Iris, his face hovering between the two of theirs.

“Please— _please_ don’t say that.” His voice is desperate sounding. Iris voices her agreement in a muffled sob, one hand tracing up his back and cupping the back of Eddie’s head gently.

“You’re supposed to be here with us.” Eddie’s not sure who says it, but those words are the ones that break him—he’s crying, now, shaking his head and trying desperately to keep his legs from collapsing beneath him. Who would’ve thought that he’d be having an existential crisis in his bathroom at 11pm in front of Barry Allen and Iris West? Not him.

It’s like Barry knows what’s happening in his head—of course he does, he was struck by _lightning_ and _survived_ —and scoops Eddie into his arms gently, his skin cool against Eddie’s too-warm naked body. Barry doesn’t say anything as he walks slowly out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. He’s got that smile on his face, the one he saves for their quiet little moments in the precinct, for when Iris is having a bad day, for when the three of them are in bed together all curled up. It’s one that puts Eddie at ease almost immediately, and even though he’s still crying a little, the hysteria bubbling in his chest subsides quite a bit. Iris trails not far behind them, and she’s got that same smile on her face. _God_ , he loves them. Loves them more than he could ever have possibly imagined. Absentmindedly, he wonders what he did in a past life to deserve to be this happy.

“You’re supposed to be _here_. With _us_.” Barry repeats, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. Then another, just above his wrist. “ _Here_.” Another kiss is pressed to his bicep, and _another_ to his shoulder. “With _us_.” Each word is emphasized with a gentle brush of Barry’s lips to Eddie’s skin, and despite everything—despite _all_ of this—Eddie feels his body reacting to Barry’s intimate gesture. Iris notices.

“Let us be here with you.” She says softly, climbing onto the bed and lying next to him for a moment. Her brown eyes gaze at him, looking at him and reading him like the book she always says he is. (‘ _You’re my favorite library, Eddie,_ ’ she had said one afternoon over coffee. ‘ _Reading you makes me feel like I’m home._ ’) He melts into her touch as she caresses his face, letting her thumb rest gently on his lips. He smiles a little against it, and she breaks into her 100-watt smile, nuzzling her face into his neck and laughing quietly. (He knows because he can feel her vibrating a little, the way she does when she giggles at a stupid joke he tells. Or when Barry falls in the kitchen while they’re still in bed, and all they hear is a crash followed by a string of curses, and all the two of them can do is laugh at their idiot boyfriend.)

Barry has trailed his kisses back down Eddie’s chest, and when Eddie finally breaks away from Iris’ enchanting gaze, he looks down and sees him with a half-smile twisted on his face and one hand dangerously close to his cock. In an exaggerated motion, Barry dips one hand down below Eddie’s waist and scratches the inside of his thigh lightly with his nails—they’re dull and unlike Iris’, but the feeling of his skin being marked by Barry’s wayward hand makes him shudder anyway. Iris pulls away from her cuddling and chooses that moment to straddle Eddie’s chest, her hands bracketing his head on either side. There’s no need for speaking, anymore, as Iris kisses him and runs a hand through his hair. He kisses her back, one hand resting on her (clothed) hips, holding her down, while the other reaches up and pulls her down closer to him. Her lips are teasing and light for a few moments, and she makes sure to pull up from each kiss just enough to get Eddie to chase her kisses, to follow her lips up and up and up until they’re crashing together again. (He loves this. Loves kissing Iris. She’s innocent but she’s _not_ , not at all, and she uses it to her advantage, and it’s amusing to him that her vibrant personality seeps into even her romantic and sexual life.)

He’s so caught up in the feeling of her body on his own that, when Eddie feels Barry’s mouth close around his dick, he gasps, breaking from Iris’ intimate moment for a brief second. Barry makes a muffled noise, sending vibrations through his cock, and Eddie moans under his breath, eyelids fluttering. He makes an attempt to peer around Iris to see his boyfriend working on his shaft, but Iris just grabs his face and holds it steady. She’s smiling when she leans back in to kiss him. Barry’s mouth hollows, and Eddie grabs at her hair more, desperate to express how good Barry is making him feel through her. She bows her head slightly and pulls away from his lips, exposing her neck to him. He accepts the offer immediately, his lips sucking and biting at her neck and jaw.

 _I love you_ , she says with her eyelashes as they flutter against his cheek.

 _I love you_ , he says with his mouth as he leaves a small mark at the base of her neck.

 _I love you_ , Barry says with his hands, as they hold him down and dig a little into the flesh of his thighs.

Barry’s going at it, now, and Eddie can’t really focus on Iris because he’s vibrating his _tongue_ , damn him, and his lips keep spasming against Iris’ skin because Barry is so good to him, he’s so _good_. And Iris is just as good, grinding down on his chest in her pajama shorts and making little keening noises as Eddie’s teeth nip at her gently. There’s so much going on that he doesn’t even see his orgasm coming until it rips through his body, startling him into silence as he comes harder than he ever has. He feels like he’s seeing stars, and Iris is still a weight on his chest, and Barry is still on his dick. He feels like he’s floating and he’s grounded all at once. Barry crawls up beside him (Eddie notices the stain on his jeans, oh my _god_ ) and kisses his cheek before pulling Iris away from him and kissing her thoroughly, making her moan and rock against Eddie as Barry grabs a handful of her hair to keep her pressed close to him.

“I love you,” Barry breathes as they part, resting their foreheads together while twining his fingers with Eddie’s. “I _love_ you. So much.” Iris smiles at him, and then down at Eddie, and a warm feeling fills his chest, different in every way from the way he had felt only a short while before. He’s never loved anyone as much as he loves these two, and Eddie can’t think of a single place he’d rather be.


End file.
